Testimonials

I went on the retreat on the basis of a hunch-I read an article in the Guardian and thought that it was just what I needed to help me on my healing journey and recovery. I did not read the testimonials because I did not want to have any preconceived ideas before the actual experience. I prepared my story which was difficult but I suspect good for me. The retreat is an extraordinary meeting place where women who have never met each other tell their stories and open up their pain and vulnerability to each other. This is done in such a sensitive and controlled manner that it felt utterly safe and supportive. I was struck by how quickly, under your guidance, we began to open up and to tell our stories but also listen and engage with the stories of each and every woman. There was real love, lots of pain and trauma, but also laughter in that room.

Your methodology and approach really works because you have thought very carefully about the different components of the retreat and how to move the retreat on from the initial story telling but also and most importantly because you both bring enormous care, sensitivity and empathy to each and every woman and each and every situation.  Given that you are dealing with very vulnerable women, your care and attention to the varying needs of the participants is remarkable.  It is emotionally and physically draining to address such pain and trauma in an intensive manner over such a short time but you never waivered, I felt utterly safe and protected. I felt I was really heard and helped. The group dynamic was a revelation to me-much better in my view than one to one therapy that I have done a lot of.

I consult my notebook and the cards on a daily basis to train myself with the tips and tricks that all help. I thank you for the opportunity of being part of this amazing experience that has helped me enormously on my healing journey. I wish you the very best as you scale the model-you have constructed something very special that I will carry with me for my life.

Suffered betrayal? Does your soul ache?

Then check yourself in to Hotel Heartbreak.

Counsellors, psychologists, on permanent call,

To cure your sadness and help you walk tall.

The setting is comfy, a barn near the sea,

Calm, warm and spacious, invites you to be

At peace with yourself so you can discover

Methods of healing to help you recover:

From the treacherous behaviour by the man in your life,

Whether you’re girlfriend, daughter, sister or wife

To understand why you’re feeling so bad

Because you loved someone who is simply a CAD!

Fireside chats on your very first night,

You’ll hear disclosures, that will give you a fright;

From the other women, who you will meet,

At the wonderfully remote, cosy retreat.

First night encounters, permit you to tell

Your story of betrayal and heartbreak hell,

After which you’re discouraged to speak,

Of the man who caused harm, it’s healing you seek.

Ruth & Alice such amazing hosts,

Not only professionals, they also make toast!

Supply sublime food, you won’t want to leave,

That’s prepared with passion by our chef Genevieve.

You’ll be nurtured and cared for at the barn in the sticks

As you discuss the men in your life, utter Dicks!

Who have treated you badly, in every which way,

Heartbreak Hotel helps you waste not one more day.

Hot water bottles, provided for you

At bedtime to relax, eases discomfort too.

Alas no gin is allowed for your stay,

Learn to manage your stress in a healthier way.

So, who do you meet at such a place?

Forbidden to disclose; discretion is grace.

Be rest assured you are far from alone,

Oh, and please don’t think you can access your phone!

Alice and Ruth, what can I say?

Heartbreak Hotel, an epic place to stay,

To learn and challenge our mixed-up belief,

It is him, not me, revelation, relief.

You’ve shown us we are strong, worthy and kind,

EMDR to reprogram the mind,

Gentle persuasion to help our hearts heal,

From crippling pain, help us love again, feel.

I am loveable, worthy, we are all so,

Your guidance, experience, has helped us to know

That memories and traumas from childhood days,

Inform adult choices in so many ways.

We are all worthy, we are wonderful ‘gals’,

This retreat has forged us as life-long pals.

We have shared our secrets, our shame, our loss,

Encouraged to discard it like jetsam and floss.

The warmth in this barn is not just the fire,

It’s teased from subconscious, our love, our desire.

From betrayal we’ll recover, emerge from our loss,

Return to the woman who is strong, who is boss.

A love letter to The Heartbreak Hotel,

Dearest Alice, Dearest Ruth,

“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life.”

– Mary Oliver

This quote seems to be around everywhere and it previously filled me with dread.

How could I plan my life that felt neither wild nor precious while in a marriage

that was full of betrayal of so many kinds?  I was in despair and sadder than I ever admitted to.

Hard to believe that one month ago today, 8 November, 2021, “The Heartbreak Hotel” retreat was over.  In a few short days my life was transformed and will be forever, I am certain of that.

Alice and Ruth, the way you held each of us in strength and compassion is something I will remember for the rest of my life.  To see how you were with the others in their times of need, despair, happiness, laughter was inspiring and

filled me with wonder and awe – it did then and thinking about it now it still does.

“Be in the elasticity of letting go.” – that is such a profound message you gave us.

The Chinese finger trap was a wonderful game to understand the message. I brought it home with me and see it daily to remember that letting go is EXACTLY what I need to do.

The WhatsApp group of the other women in the program has proved to be a lifeline,

for all of us, I believe. As the realities of life that we returned to by our betrayers– the lies, the betrayals, the belittling and shaming – reaching out to the group is heart-opening and strong.

We all learned a lot about how to accept ourselves and to try to leave the heartbreak of the betrayers behind.  Because of The Heartbreak Hotel I now am planning what I AM going to do with MY Wild and Precious Life. It is a difficult road but one that I know that I will take and conquer because you and the others at HBH made it miraculously possible.  My betrayer asked how it was and I said ‘transformative, life-changing’ – he said ‘wow, big words’. Then he asked what the others thought ‘the same’.  That is true.  We all changed for the better and will never be the same again. 

We are all having a zoom with the two of you on Friday and that fills us all with joy to see each other, and the two of you – to laugh, to cry, to hug each other electronically and to tell how we have learned, thanks to the few days of The Heartbreak Hotel, how to be true to ourselves and be happy with whatever life throws at us.  The gratitude is so huge I don’t believe there is a word in the English language that defines it.  With gigantic love and thanks for this miracle.Description text goes here

I found it profound and profoundly effective. I loved how brave and raw we were as women, so soon after meeting, and what a safe space you instantly created for us. Your sensitivity and nurturing was a blessing. Your recognition that we were female warriors, worn down and bowed, enabled us to tend to the shattered places within ourselves. Slowly, surely, we straightened up - literally, emotionally and metaphorically. It was a cleverly curated programme and I was particularly impressed by your therapy, Alice; the EMDR, the nourishing food and the tangible thought and care that you both put into every aspect of the weekend. Of course, the laughter was the best tonic of all. I felt wholly able to be truly myself and for me, that is liberation in these judgemental times. There was no bias, no polarisation in your group. Everything was welcome and every one was welcomed open-heartedly by you and wonderful Ruth. Thank you so much for the insight, healing, love and laughter.

Following my visit to the Heartbreak Hotel, I feel loved, appreciated, cared for, heard and understood.  Deeply nourished by a spectacular location, divine views, adorable sheep, uplifting walks, relaxing and restorative yoga, beautiful interiors, comfy beds, relaxing baths, warm fires, scented candles, soft blankets, freedom from tech, delicious food, addictive cookies, not lifting a finger, hours of talking, hours of listening, no judgement, crying a river, laughing till it hurts, going on a journey, discovering acceptance, a toolbox of coping strategies, a new appreciation, leaving behind the burden of pain, gaining a new lightness and hope, seeing that reflected in the faces and bodies of others, the Heartbreak Hotel Botox!

The entire experience feels like a gift that I feel blessed to receive, but the greatest gift of all is my tribe - a diverse group of women drawn together by heartbreak, a shared experience, compassion and an overwhelming desire to mother!  I've got each and every one of them and I know that they've got me.

Alice, Ruth and your team - you offer an incredible, unique and much needed experience.  To those reading this - if you are contemplating embarking on this journey then don't hesitate.  Don't overthink it, don't be afraid, embrace the unknown and jump right in; you won't regret it!

One day, completely out of the blue, my husband sat me down and told me he was leaving our marriage of 25 years. There had been no arguments, no conflict just a normal life of what would have seemed a contented couple (emerging from the pandemic) looking forward to a quieter life of part-time retirement now that our kids had just started their first jobs after university. 

His message was that he thought our marriage was successful (he later called it ‘good’) but that he now wanted to go on a different journey and look for a relationship in which he could be more his authentic self. He also mentioned that he felt that he could have a ‘deeper love’.

I was in deep shock (I called it the ‘nuclear) a feeling that I had never experienced before and that would last for quite some time whilst also trying to make some sense of it all. 

It was during those initial weeks that I read in The Times about this new concept, The Heart Break Hotel. It was as if it was written for me, it felt like a possible lifeline; would I be able to shake this horrible feeling during a retreat at the Heartbreak Hotel? At the very least I would meet women in a similar situation who would maybe recognise the feelings and issues I was struggling with. 

I had to wait some months before the next retreat and started therapy in the meantime. Therapy was nice but slow and one session a week didn’t seem to cause a marked shift in how I was feeling and what I was struggling with. I was holding my hope out for the HBH and when the day arrived, I was far from disappointed. Alice and Ruth were so warm, welcoming and preceptive. The first evening we read each other our prepared letter about our Heartbreak. Being so open and showing vulnerability with a group of strangers quickly lead to a unique bonding experience with inspirational women.

Alice and Ruth took us over the next few days through an eclectic and well thought through programme. It looked at how formative experiences in our past might have caused behaviour and strategies that were not helpful to us. Alicethen made us aware of how to look at these in a different way so that they can form believes that will help us flourish going forward. They talked about our attachment styles, radical acceptance and much more. 

All this within the cosiness of a lovely atmospheric barn with candles, flowers and delicious vegetarian food and cakes. The daily beach walks were not only important to get in some exercise and fresh air but also provided a way for more spontaneous conversations and this also this helped the process along.

As a group we started to know each other and became more vocal in helping one another. Others were seeing and putting into words what we might not always have been consciously aware of ourselves. On the last session on the last day wewere asked to describe each other and our journey. The words of those amazing women were so insightful, supportive and,together with Alice and Ruth invaluable input, empowered me to accept that I can just be me and that I am complete. 

As I write this it has been three weeks since the retreat. I have had some ups and downs, but the retreat has definitely fast forwarded my healing process in a way that would have taken so much longer without it. I had my one follow-up call with Alice yesterday. Her expertise is immense, and this call was precious, just at the right time, and it allowed me to take another step forward. I am so grateful to Alice and Ruth for having started the HBH and how fortuitous that I came across it when I needed it! With all my heart I thank you for helping me on my path of healing.